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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?